Posted on October 28, 2014
This weekend was cool because I got to watch some football in the afternoon because there was a London game. However there was like a 45 minute gap between that and the 1:00 games. And I had to watch the NFL Network. It’s an experience I hope I never have to repeat.
Cheez Curdz (5-3-0) 98 vs Team Butter Bars (3-4-0) 82
If this was a fair world, CZCZ wouldn’t have won simply by merit of putting out the Colts defense. That it only got -4 points is something of a miracle. I do have to say that I’m impressed that she did not start Jimmy Graham. TE controversy! If you had started Luck and Fitz, you would have won, TBB. That having been said, if CZCZ had done the sane thing and started Maclin, well it wouldn’t have even been close.
Settlers of Catanzaro (4-4-0) 109 vs Rainy City Bitch Pidgeons (2-6-0) 81
I pretty much owe this win to the Miama Dolphins defense. 28 points. My god. Also, this is the first week that I benched Witten, and he puts up 13 points. Fuck that. Dwayne Allen is awesome because Luck only throws to him when they’re scoring goals. So p much every other time they get points, it goes to Dwayne. Every 3 weeks there’s a long shot to T.Y. or it gets run in by Bradshaw. Those are the 3 options. Also I’m not sure how Jay Cutler got 21 points, but I’m not going to ask questions.
Rockus Town Cantalopes (4-4-0) 107 vs Rham Emanuels (3-5-0) 109
RTC you deserved to lose this one. Why? For starting a defense that was going up against the Broncos. Dumb. Just plain dumb. Which is pretty sad, because you’ve got a pretty great team. They’re all pretty hit or miss, but when they get together (like they did this week) HOOOOO LAWS!!! But you blew it. Rham you should definitely count on Roethlesberger getting 44 points a week. Because the mere fact that you’re starting Trent Richardson shows me how desperate you are.
Sasquatch Reloaded (5-3-0) 99 vs Cuncel Da Saeson (7-1-0) 122
Man this is a non sequitor, but I am super pumped for the Brian Bosworth 30 for 30. There was just a commercial for it, but I’ve been waiting for like a year for it. Also if the Boz never went as Duke Nukem for Hallowe’en, well then that was just a waste. And then it was followed by a commercial for a woodsplitter. Jesus, which kind of idiot doesn’t start Andre Ellington. Doesn’t make up the difference, but still. Julius Thomas was your lowest scoring player, CDS. That’s how fucked up this week was.
Team Discovery Channel (3-5-0) 73 vs CAN’T WAIT (4-4-0) 144
TDC, you’re looking like a solid 3-5 team right about now. I think you have about every backup in the league. And Matty-Ice is not the mighty force we thought he was going to be this year. Lollin at Tre’s 3 point. You were looking for 7-8 weren’t you, admit it. You thought it was a lock. CW could have won most of his matchups, on an average week, with just Gronk, Sanders and Brady. WTF, how does Kniles have 15 points? CW had 55 points on the bench, as well. Fucked up.
1) Cuncel Da Saeson (7-1-0) - 2nd lowest points against, so feel great about that
2) Sasquatch Reloaded (5-3-0) – This is a fair place for you to be
3) Cheez Curdz (5-3-0) – Pointswise, you’re in 5th
4) Settlers of Catanzaro (4-4-0) - I’m p uncomfortable being this high up
5) Rockus Town Cantalopes (4-4-0) - Slippin
6) CAN’T WAIT – (4-4-0) - Garbage
7) Team Butter Bars (3-5-0) - Regressing to the mean
Rham Emanuels (3-5-0) - Maybe you should give a shit about the sport
9) Team Discover Channel (3-5-0) - Not in Law School, what excuse do you have now?
10) Rainy City Bitch Pigeons (2-6-0) - You disgust me.
A note: RCBP has scored almost 100 points less than TDC and is on pace to be the worst team in the history of the league by an extraordinary margin.
Sasquatch Reloaded vs Setters of Catanzaro
Currently I’m projected to get a little over 70 points, which sounds about right. 50 of those points will come from the Defense I start.
Rham Emanuels vs CAN”T WAIT
Tom Brady keeps it honest by getting -40 points. Trent Richardson scores one point.
Team Butter Bars vs Rainy City Bitch Pigeons
Marshawn Lynch is going to be benched for stuffing a Skittle in Pete Carroll’s butthole. Aaron Rodgers plays a couple of downs for the Titans, just for fun, gets 10 points.
Cuncel Da Saeson vs Team Discovery Channel
Arian Foster slips in some tofu. Matt Bryant changes his name to Viniateri, in hopes of getting some points.
Rockus Town Cantalopes vs Cheez Curdz
Well both of you have like 6 guys on bye weeks, so I can’t predict, I just can’t do it.
Yeah BITCH! Football!
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